


My Heart That Has Grown

by TatsuKitty



Category: TOMORROW X TOGETHER | TXT (Korea Band), TXT (band), TXT - Fandom
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Bottom Choi Soobin, Fluff, Get your insulin and your holy water cuz you're gunna need both, Loss of Virginity, M/M, No Angst, Smut, THIS IS SO SOFT THO
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-02
Updated: 2020-05-02
Packaged: 2021-03-02 01:21:46
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,621
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23956816
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TatsuKitty/pseuds/TatsuKitty
Summary: It started with the air kisses.Everyone had noticed at some point. Yeonjun was very fond of getting right into Soobin's space, smacking his pout out in a kissing motion and sending all of Soobin's emotions scattering like blowing dandelion seeds into a breeze.(Or Yeonjun goes to air kiss Soobin and it goes a lot further than an air kiss)
Relationships: Choi Soobin/Choi Yeonjun
Comments: 17
Kudos: 641





	My Heart That Has Grown

**Author's Note:**

> I.... I just had to, Okay?

It started with the air kisses. 

Everyone had noticed at some point. Yeonjun was very fond of getting right into Soobin's space, smacking his pout out in a kissing motion and sending all of Soobin's emotions scattering like blowing dandelion seeds into a breeze. 

Soobin knew Yeonjun was attractive. How could he not? He saw him all day, every day. He had practically memorized the soft pout of his mouth, the angle of his jaw, the slope of his nose, the point at the corner of his eyes. More than that, he also saw how Yeonjun treated him, vesus how the dongsaengs were treated. 

They almost acted like parents sometimes, talking about the youngest members as ‘the kids’, and they were affectionate, sure. But not the way Yeonjun was with Soobin. With warm hands on his thigh or around his neck, clever fingers tugging on his ear, the constant closeness, and most of all, the air kisses. 

So  _ of course _ , it started with the air kisses. 

Because the air kisses didn’t happen just on camera. They weren’t really any  _ worse _ on camera because Soobin always reacted in the same way. He was bound and determined to keep the sudden gay panic off his face, even though he always jerked back in surprise and blushed. He couldn’t help it. Yeonjun always knew just how to get him off guard or catch him unaware. 

Tonight they were home alone, the kids out under the supervision managers for a special filming project. They were going to be alone in the dorm, just Soobin and Yeonjun, for the first time in what felt like years. 

They were actually getting ready for bed, both showered and finished brushing their teeth. They were standing at the same sink, their shoulders lazily brushing as they patted moisturizer onto their faces so the coordi noonas didn’t kill them later, when it happened. Soobin turned to ask Yeojun… something. He didn’t remember now. It wasn’t important. What was important was that he had turned towards Yeonjun's face just as Yeonjun was going in for one of his air kisses. 

It was not an air kiss. 

It was just a kiss-kiss. Slightly off to the side, Yeonjun’s mouth pressed against the corner of Soobin’s bottom lip. 

They both froze for all of two seconds while sirens blared in Soobin's head, screaming about oh god, that’s a mouth on his mouth, that’s _Yeonjun's_ _mouth on his mouth_. Rationally, he knew what he _should_ do would be to splutter and turn a bright neon shade of red, followed with jerking back and then being awkward while he finished his gay panic. Instead, he brain decided that if this was really going to be how he kissed Yeonjun, he’d better make the most of it. 

His eyes dropped closed and he tilted his head down so Yeonjun's mouth was more firmly against his, brushing his lips gently across the fullness of Yeonjun’s pout. He distantly heard Yeonjun suck in a sharp breath, his lips parting slightly against Soobin's own, before everything went sideways again in the absolute best way possible. Yeonjun's hands shot up and simultaneously cradled Soobin's cheeks and tugged him down just a little more so their mouths were pressed a little harder and his tongue swiped a hot trail against Soobin's bottom lip. 

He gasped raggedly and Yeonjun ran with it, slid his tongue into Soobin's mouth. His hands found Yeonjun's waist and he slid one hand up his back, under the hem of his shirt, shuddering at the feeling of warm, smooth skin, the knobs of Yeonjun's spine under his fingers. 

They kissed until Soobin felt dizzy, his mouth felt swollen and his breathing ragged but he couldn’t bring himself to pull back. Yeonjun did first, gentling and then leaning a little away, stroking the edge of Soobin's jaw. Soobin took a second to open his eyes slowly, lashes fluttering and mouth slack. 

“Hey, Soobinnie.” Yeonjun said quietly. “That uh…” He started and paused and Soobin felt a flush suffuse his face. 

“Your fault. With those… always with the air kisses!” Soobin deflected a bit. He saw Yeonjun look a little crestfallen for just a second, his chin crinkling up, eyebrows pinching in the middle. Before it could go further, before Yeonjun could even think about it, Soobin leaned in and pecked a soft kiss, chaste, to his pout. “....I’m not really complaining about it.” he murmured, staring at Yeonjun’s collar bones because he was scared to look up at his face again. Yeonjun sighed out a relieved noise after a second and then nodded a little. 

“So you….?” he trailed off, tilting Soobin’s head up with one finger under his chin. Soobin felt his eyes go wide with surprise and confusion.

“You had to know. You had to! With the---You always! With the air kisses and the trust oppa and…!” Soobin gasped out, disbelievingly. “I practically lit on fire blushing! Even MOA noticed!” 

Yeonjun went a pretty, pale pink across his cheekbones and his face scrunched up in a grin, teeth out. He pressed his face to the curve of Soobin's shoulder and shook with a quiet chuckle. “I knew they noticed me! I didn’t know you…. You never said!”    
“I never?! You never said! I feel like I was pretty obvious. I also feel a little bit better that you just didn’t notice and weren’t just riling me up to…” he trailed off, suddenly unwilling to spill how vulnerable he felt. He didn’t need to worry. Yeonjun jerked his head back, eyes popped wide and earnest.

“Soobinnie,  _ no _ . Never. I just…” he shook his head. “Couldn’t help it.” His fingers inched up, teasing at the lobe of Soobin's ear, the way he always did whenever he felt nervous or anxious or bored. It was hopelessly endearing and Soobin felt his eyes almost water with a mixture of happiness and relief. Yeonjun made a strangled noise in the back of his throat and then tugged Soobin into another kiss, this one harder. He deepened it quickly, leaving Soobin's brain to explode into a shower of sparks, his thoughtless hands creeping back up under Yeonjun's shirt, resting on the muscles of his shoulders. Someone whimpered and it took Soobin a second to realise that it was his own voice. Yeonjun's hands shifted and slid under Soobin's shirt as well, wandering up his chest to press down, palms grazing his nipples. Soobin gasped, eyes jolting open. 

“Too much?” Yeonjun asked, lips still grazing against Soobin's, pupils blown and voice slightly husky. Soobin shivered, hands reflexively moving to tug Yeonjun closer as he shook his head. Yeonjun pecked a small kiss again and slid his hands higher. “Off?” 

Soobin took a second to assess everything. He wasn’t sure if it was too fast or if their build up counted for anything. He was nervous, a little scared, trembling finely, but he  _ wanted.  _ He lifted his arms, felt a flush of pride as Yeonjun gasped and then slid his t-shirt off, dropping it to the floor by the laundry basket. He leaned down to kiss the older man again but was startled when instead Yeonjun went for his neck, mouth a hot, wet brand against the sensitive skin. He couldn’t stop the loud, surprised moan he let out. 

“Should….S-should we maybe… not in the bathroom?” He asked, tentatively, not really sure he was ready to not be in the bathroom but also pretty sure his knees were going to give out at any second. Smacking his head on a counter was not how he wanted this to end. Yeonjun stroked his hands down Soobin's sensitive waist to his hips and stared at him for a moment, searchingly. 

“Yeah?” he asked. “You want to go to bed?” Soobin gulped hard, shuddered again and nodded, not trusting his voice. “You gotta say it, Soobinnie. Gotta tell me what you want.” Yeonjun insisted, syrup sweet and low as he nuzzled their noses together.

“Y…..yes. Yeah, I want…. Bed.” He managed, embarrassed when his voice came out strangled and breathless. Yeonjun moved his hands to grab Soobin's and tugged gently, leading him to the bedroom before stepping away to duck down into his bottom bunk. “Wait,” Soobin tugged his hand before it was let go. “...Your shirt. Your turn.” he muttered, trying not to sound as foolish and virginal and overwhelmed as he felt. 

Yeonjun stood back up from where he bent and then tugged his shirt up and off, tossing it to the side. Soobin had seen him shirtless. Of course he had, they spent so much time together. But it was different, seeing his friend’s lean, muscular torso in this setting. He was going to get to touch it. His heart felt like it might actually explode and his hands went out of their own accord, skirting up Yeonjun's sides to cup around his ribs, fingers resting in the spaces between them. 

“Easy. Tickles.” Yeonjun giggled, nose scrunching up again in that endearing way of his and Soobin wasn’t going to survive how cute he was. It was going to kill him. 

Yeonjun finally managed to crawl into the bed and then held a hand out to Soobin, who crawled in after him and tried very hard not to squirm or fall out of the bed, or crush Yeonjun. He felt every gangly inch of his height. 

“Relax.” Yeonjun murmured and then tugged Soobin over towards the middle of the bed just a little, leaning over him to kiss him and oh god. Oh wow. Laying down to kiss was very different. 

For one, he suddenly felt like he was drowning, surrounded by the feel and smell of Yeonjun and slightly overwhelmed. His legs curled up a little bit and his toes curled in his socks. His hands slid back up Yeonjun's back again as he moaned helplessly into his mouth, trying not to shake and failing. 

They kissed for what felt like hours and seconds all at once, Yeonjun's hands stroking gently up and down Soobin's sides and over his belly in a way that left goosebumps shivering over Soobin’s skin and had him squirming, trying to hide his erection as it grew. His blood felt like it was boiling and his stomach had a low curl deep, deep down whenever Yeonjun let out a soft noise. 

“Hyung…” Soobin gasped, arching his head back as Yeonjun slid his mouth down to his neck again, gentle, so gentle, all warm heat and pressure. He arched up, looking for...something. He wasn’t even sure what at this point. 

Yeonjun's eyes were so dark as he looked up at Soobin, trailing his mouth lower to press open mouthed kisses down his chest. Soobin kept letting out this soft, involuntary sound and he was panting like they had just finished a hard dance practice and starting to sweat a little. 

“What do you want to do, Soobinnie?” Yeonjun asked, resting his cheek over Soobin's heart for a second, waiting. Soobin's brain shattered in 80 different directions, paralyzed by wants and needs and desires and things he didn’t even have a name for.    
“I… Just touch me...Just..” Soobin pleaded, tugging at the ends of Yeonjun's hair. 

“You gotta tell me what you want.” Yeonjun stressed, raising up on his elbows, half on top of Soobin. “Have you ever done this?” 

“No.” Soobin admitted, feeling shy and small and a little off kilter all at once. “But I… I thought about it. What it might be like with...with you.” he took a breath to try and steady his nerves. “I really… I really like you, Yeonjun-hyung. I trust you.” Yeonjun sucked in a sharp, deep breath and his eyes looked a little glossy, like he might cry, and Soobin briefly panicked. 

“Okay. Good. I really like you too, Soobinnie.” he replied and then pressed a kiss to his chest again, right over where he felt like his heart might actually beat out of his chest. “If I do anything you don’t like or you want to stop for any reason, you tell me, okay? Promise?” He stared hard, face abruptly very serious. 

“Promise.” Soobin confirmed and then scratched his nails gently over Yeonjun's scalp, down the nape of his neck. 

Everything suddenly got more intense after that and Soobin realised just how much Yeonjun had been holding himself back. He wasn’t now. His hands slipped down Soobin's stomach to toy with the waistband of his sweats, his mouth shifted to press over his nipple. Soobin arched with a breathless cry at the surprising hot rush of pleasure, hand tangling in Yeonjun's hair again and tugging gently. 

Yeonjun kissed across to give the same treatment to his other nipple, fingers working to undo the ties of Soobin's pants. Yeonjun's fingers shook a little and it settled something in Soobin that he wasn't the only one feeling so much. Yeonjun leaned up to sit back on his knees, wincing as he smacked the back of his head against the top bunk. 

“Aughh!” he hissed and rubbed the back of his head and Soobin couldn’t help giggling, reaching up to rub there too, messing up his hair worse. 

Yeonjun snorted a laugh and then bit his lip and just looked down at Soobin for a moment, his eyes dark and his mouth a little swollen with all their kissing. The hair at his temples was slightly damp and he was beautiful.

Soobin fought not to squirm but felt another thrum of pleasure low in his belly. He made Yeonjun look like that. 

"God, Soobin...look so good for me." Yeonjun praised softly and ran his fingers in a slow drag from Soobin's waistband to his ribs and back down that had him gasping and hips bucking up helplessly for friction. He fisted his hands in the sheets so he didn't try to cover his face. He felt shy but pushed it aside when he saw the glint of Yeonjun's eyes as he tugged his pants down, leaving Soobin in a pair of dark blue boxer briefs that did nothing to hide how hard he was and his socks. He could feel the fabric sticking to the damp head of his cock and bit hard at his bottom lip. It was embarrassing in one sense but the way Yeonjun gasped and then ran his fingers over his thighs added to the syrupy heat of arousal, made Soobin feel just a little shameless. 

"You too, hyung." He insisted, grabbing whatever bravery he could find to tug at Yeonjun's waistband. Yeonjun shifted to help but he grabbed both his sweats and his boxers, pushing them down and off, freeing his cock to smack up against the ridges of his abs in a way that should have been comical but was in reality just made Soobin let out a strangled noise as his heart skipped a beat and his mouth watered a little. 

"You're so pretty," Soobin blurted and then felt immediately stupid but Yeonjun just smiled again, teeth showing, and then dropped his jaw on a cracked moan when Soobin oh so gently touched, rubbing his thumb over the dark pink, petal soft head of his cock. 

"Fuck!" He gasped and then leaned forward to kiss Soobin again, slower but still so good. Soobin stroked experimentally a couple times, gratified by Yeonjun letting out a ragged moan as he moved to nibble on Soobin's earlobe. He was used to Yeonjun's fascination with them but it hadn't ever felt this amazing before. 

"That's--! Oh God, you're never going to be able to touch my ears in public again" Soobin gasped and arched a bit, hips working in the air. Yeonjun giggled a little but didn’t stop his mouth moving down again, shifting away and Soobin whined a bit at the loss when he couldn't reach his cock anymore, grabbing hard at the sheets again instead. Yeonjun leaned over and grabbed a bottle of lube from where it was hidden between the mattress and the wall and then bit lightly at Soobin's hip bone, sending a tingling wave of pleasure pain through him. 

"How do you want to do this?" Yeonjun asked and Soobin blinked a bit, feeling brainless for a second. 

"What?"

"You want to be in me? Or me in you?" Yeonjun asked again, stroking his thumbs over Soobin’s hip bones again. 

"I… I don't know what I'm doing. I don't want to hurt you." Soobjn frowned, gnawing on his bottom lip. 

"I can tell you. I'm not worried about that. What do  _ you _ want?" Yeonjun asked again, so patient and calm and Soobin wanted to yell at him to just do  _ anything _ , please! He squirmed for a second, then took a deep breath, trying to calm down as Yeonjun ran his palms up and down his thighs distractingly and thought about it for a second. When he fantasized before it was usually Yeonjun's hips that started it, that way they snapped during dance moves or did a slow roll and Soobin flushed again thinking about what that would be like with Yeonjun pressed inside him, his cock stretching him. 

"...you in me. Th--I want that, please." Soobin replied after a moment, shy again and struggling not to cover up when his cock twitched. Yeonjun rewarded him with a kiss to his belly as he tugged down Soobin's underwear and that was it. He was naked too. They were going to do this. His cock was already so hard, the tip leaking fat drops of precome and pressing up to rest on his belly. He pressed his knees up instinctively, caging Yeonjun in accidentally as he tried to cover. 

"It's okay." Yeojun comforted and then reached for the bottle again, coating his fingers and rubbing them together to warm the lube up before he rubbed down at Soobin's perineum in a circle, clever fingers teasing. Soobin let out a choked sound and flushed hot again. He didn’t know anything could feel that good. 

"Hyung! Oh!" He moaned weakly and then heaved a huge breath in when Yeonjun lowered his head, suckling the head of his cock into his mouth. He shook, thighs trembling around Yeonjun's shoulders before falling to the sides as the tight, wet heat of Yeonjun's mouth sank lower. He was so distracted he jolted a little when Yeonjun pressed the pad of a finger to his entrance. "Please, please, hyung, ah!" 

"Easy, hyung’s got you" Yeonjun soothed before slowly sinking a finger into him, watching as he pressed further and Soobin did cover his face this time, moaned weakly in embarrassment and startled arousal. "Why are you hiding, bunny?" 

"No ones ever seen... and you're just… just looking but I… I like it...ah!" Soobin choked off when Yeonjun started pulling his finger slowly back out before pushing back in, rubbing against his walls. The intrusion was strange, pressure where he’d never really touched before, but not unpleasant. 

"You're gorgeous. So good for me." Yeonjun praised softly and Soobin's toes curled, cock jerking a bit at the praise. "That's it, let me make you feel good."

"I do feel good. Feels...nngh" Soobin arched again, rocking his hips instinctively. He never realized how sensitive he was there, how his rim could shoot pleasure up his spine and into his belly like that. Yeonjun pressed a second finger slowly in, stretching him and then crooked his fingers in a way that had Soobin letting out a choked squeak of surprise. 

"That good?" Yeonjun asked and Soobin nodded frantically, pressing his hips insistently onto Yeonjun's fingers, chasing the feeling again. It felt so good it almost ached, sent his cock jerking and leaking a fat drop of precome down the shaft. Yeonjun noticed immediately and pressed long, slow circles on that spot. Soobin's head jerked side to side without his conscious permission as the pleasure kept building, spreading through his belly in a way that was so much more intense than he was used to. 

"Hyung! oh God, Yeonjun! It's so--!" He babbled mindlessly, rolling his hips into the sensation. He thought he was overwhelmed before but now he felt like he was immersed in it, his skin hot and his cock jolting up with every press of Yeonjun’s fingers. Yeonjun rubbed his other hand over Soobin's sac and perineum, up his trembling stomach and even that felt so good, coiled down into the ache behind his belly button. "Don't stop, oh god, please, Yeonjun-hyung!" 

His fingers pressed a little faster, the pressure building, and Soobin had an almost panicked realization that he was close before he hurtled over the edge, cock jerking as he came messily over his stomach. And then it just  _ didn’t stop _ . It kept building even as Soobin shook and his cock pulsed, spent and still hard on his belly. He let out high pitched, strangled noises, head arched so far back his neck ached a little and toes curled into the bed. 

Yeonjun pulled his fingers slowly out and Soobin whined, pressing his hips towards him again, mindlessly needy. 

"Easy, bunny." Yeonjun rubbed his clean hand up and down Soobin's torso again, driving him crazy. "You want more?" 

"Yes, please, Yeonjun-hyung, want it. Want you, please," He was panting like he ran a mile and his limbs were shaking and loose but he felt so painfully empty now. Sweat was gathering in the crooks of his knees and elbows, his bangs were sticking to his forehead. 

"Tell me if it's too much or if it hurts, okay? Promise?" Yeonjun leaned to kiss him again and Soobin whimpered into it, nodding feverishly. 

"Promise. Please." He shuddered as Yeonjun reached back to where he had gotten the lube and pulled out a condom from a small box, opening it quickly and sliding it down his own length. Soobin shifted impatiently. He felt like his whole body was a live wire. 

Yeonjun shifted, tugging Soobin's hips up a little and stuffing a pillow under them before putting more lube directly onto Soobin's hole, making him shiver at the cold, before grabbing his cock and shifting to press and oh. 

_ Oh _ .

He could feel the stretch this time, a little burn, not really painful but just full, so full, and he stared wide eyed at Yeonjun. 

His hands were all over Soobin, stoking up and down his sides, rubbing over his thighs, reaching to tease his nipples and Soobin was lost to the pleasure. He reached up to tug Yeonjun down for a kiss and shifted his hips, gasping as Yeonjun’s cock moved a little inside him. 

"So pretty, my Soobinnie." Yeonjun murmured against his mouth and then started pulling his hips back before thrusting back in, setting up a steady rhythm. Soobin stuttered out a high, keening moan and arched up, hands clutching at Yeonjun's hips and back frantically. It was so much, so good, that ache building behind his belly button again. Yeonjun let out a low moan and Soobin gasped as it sent more heat curling through his belly. 

Soobin was lost, letting out soft "ah, ah ah!"s every time Yeonjun moved, his hair sticking to his sweaty forehead and Yeonjun was flushed, face twisted in pleasure above him, the hairs at the nape of his neck curling and damp as he panted and groaned with exertion. Soobin mouthed at his neck and shoulder, muffling his desperate noises as his body hurtled towards another orgasm, pressure building at the base of his spine and in his stomach. 

"Please, please, please" he babbled breathlessly and almost cried when Yeonjun wrapped a hand around his cock, stroking in time with his deep thrusts. 

He shifted just a little, arching his back just so, and then he was lost, coming with a loud cry, clenching hard around Yeonjun’s cock. He whimpered as Yeonjun worked him through it before coming with his own loud moan, hips stuttering against Soobin. . Soobin panted helplessly as he collapsed bonelessly to the bed, sweaty and wrung out.

Yeonjun pulled out carefully and tied the condom, tossing it in the nearby trashcan before padding off out of the room. Soobin felt the tears spill down his cheeks before he realized he was crying and sniffled, trying not to panic that Yeonjun left the room. His brain went through about a million terrifying scenarios of rejection in the seconds it took before Yeonjun’s head poked back in the door. 

He was holding a damp rag and looked immediately stricken, practically tripped over himself to get back to Soobin. "Soobinnie, no, no, my Soobinnie." He crooned and stroked Soobin’s sweaty bangs back from his forehead. "You're okay, it's okay." 

"I didn't even realize I was.. ah I feel stupid." He sniffled and buried his face against Yeonjun’s neck, shivering a bit as Yeonjun rubbed the rag gently over his skin to clean him up. 

"What’s wrong? You’re upset?" Yeonjun asked, his free hand stroking down the back of Soobin’s neck gently. 

"Not upset. Just… a lot. And then you left and I… I kind of panicked." Soobin confessed and then moved to kiss him again, soft and a little unsure. Yeonjun met him tenderly and it made a fresh wave of tears well up in his eyes. Yeonjun kissed his tears away gently and rubbed a comforting hand up and down his back. 

“It’s okay. You’re not silly. I feel bad though, I should have told you what I was doing.” Yeonjun pouted a little and pressed little kisses to Soobin’s temple and ear again. Soobin felt his heart calm slowly, his emotions settling slowly back down to somewhere closer to normal. He pressed closer to Yeonjun, further into his embrace, and rubbed his nose along his collar bone. 

"C'mon. Let's get you some water and change the sheets out." Yeonnun murmured after a few moments and Soobin wanted to protest but… yeah, the bed was gross. He got up, legs a little shaky under him, muscles a little sore, and went to tug on his comfortable pair of sweats. He stared at his feet and snorted out a helpless chuckle when he noticed that he’d had his socks on the whole time. He finished getting dressed while Yeonjun did the same before he came back over and stroked his hand slowly through Soobin's hair with a soft smile. Soobin bent again to kiss him, just because he could. 

Yeonjun tangled their fingers as they walked to the kitchen and gulped down glasses of water, pressed up against each other. Soobin never wanted to stop touching him. 

They parted briefly to deal with the sheets, settling for stripping them up and tossing them in the washing machine to deal with in the morning before crawling into Soobin's bed instead. Soobin had about two seconds of wondering what was going to happen next, what would they do now, before Yeonjun wrapped around him like the world's most cuddly octopus and tugged his earlobe between his nimble fingers. It made something soft and warm bubble up in Soobin's chest and he hugged Yeonjun just a little closer. 

"Hey, Soobinnie?" Yeonjun whispered, quiet in that way that naturally comes with a dark room. 

"Yeah?" He whispered back, sneaking one hand to the warm strip of skin by Yeonjun's waistband. 

"We're together now, right?" He asked, sounding surprisingly uncertain. 

"Yeah. If you want. I want that. I…" Soobin stops because it felt too early to say that he loved Yeonjun even if he thought that that's what he was feeling. "I really like you, hyung." 

"Good. I really like you too." Yeonjun smiled against his cheek and nuzzled an impossible bit closer before their breath evened off into sleep. 


End file.
